"Some people build a bed to lie on. Some people build a road to Zion."

I'm making an overdue Valentines mix for Kim, or "Kim-bug" as I affectionately call her. We just celebrated our second anniversary a few weeks ago and we live together in Old Town. How weird is it how quickly things can change. We're planning some big trips for this summer, which should be awesome! I've always wanted to go to Japan, and I want to watch some baseball when I'm there! Maybe I should visit yellow_abyss's aunt and uncle?

Things are good at the Lyric. I got a substantiation raise at the beginning of the year, and that feels really great. On Valentines Day I took Kim to a sold out screening of Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind that I cried during. I certainly wasn't the only one. It's such a great film and Kim had NEVER seen it! She didn't even know that Jim Carrey was in it!

Kim's off teaching yoga now, and I miss her a bit, even if it is cheesy!
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Weird dreams....

Three Nights Ago

I'm at a martini bar where all of the servers and bartenders are Muppets. How they mix, pour, and handle drinks is beyond me.

Two Nights Ago

I was being hassled by a large group of German youths.

Last Night

I got Jimmy Fallon a bunch of candy for free so he gave me a shout-out on his show. I missed it on tv so i went to Hulu, but it was down, so I traveled back in time to the night before to be at the show where he gives me a shout-out. Then he calls me up on stage to be part of a Captain Planet sketch. I am flying around and being really dramatic with it, and then he fires me for being too dramatic and not comical enough.

yeah. weird.

et all

I am tumbling every movie I see here.

In other news, I like my new job. I haven't had a day off in over a week and won't have one for at least over another week, and I am stoked for the road trip Allie and I are going on on the 22nd. Then, we might be going back to Portland 3 weeks later to see the Mountain Goats. I really want that to happen too. Then I might go with her to San Francisco for a week in July, but that is looking less likely. Keeping my fingers crossed though!

ps. we're having the best sex ever!!!


I am starting a second job at Mad Greens on Thursday. This is what the money is going to go to in order.
1) Road trip to Oregon with Allie
2) A New Guitar
3) Trip to San Francisco
4) Subsequent Trips to Visit Allie in Eugene
5) Eventually, a new laptop

Yay. :)

Little Goals

I didn't realize it was Allison's birthday until 3 hours and 45 minutes into it. That is seriously steps in the right direction. I was hanging out with Stephanie, but I don't things will work out. Sad, but okay.

Oh life...

Well he is back. I keep looking at his name in her facebook status and keep waiting for it to hurt, but it hasn't yet, it just feels numb. I think this is a good thing.

Her and I got in a big thing the other day. She asked me what I wanted her to tell me and I said I wanted to know when why and how she knew that she wasn't into me like I was into her. She said "December 30th, 2009." This seemed oddly specific so I asked for the details. She showed me her journal entry from that day and it wasn't anything I didn't already know. She had been telling me these things for so long, but they always seemed like a self defense mechanism because i lived in san francisco. They always seemed constructed to protect herself. But seeing it in that context, an outlet never meant for me to see, was kind of sobering. I have to fucking move on and stop killing myself like this.

I worked tonight and went to The Vault to hang out with Jeff. I met his friend (and short-term ex girlfriend) there. He name is Stephanie, and she is so cute and hyperactive and bubbly and I think this will be my first real post-Allison prospect. I don't feel too bad about her being Jeff's ex because they only dated for a month. However, I am afraid it will turn into another Greenpeace type situation in that she sounds like she needs sex, a lot and a lot of sex. We'll see how that goes.

Garrett's band, Arlise Nancy, was playing. They are awesome. I <3 Garrett and Tim :D

Anywho, i think jeff and I are hanging out again tomorrow. I am really excited about it because I had always wanted to hang out with Jeff more often and then he moved away and then I moved away and he moved back when i was gone and now I'm back too!

Oh, but my roommate, Faith, was at the Vault too, and she was really drunk. And she was with these kinda weird guys, so, when her shirt came off I told her it was time to leave and we walked back home. Yeah. Now how to broach the subject without sounding like her father...

My Life

So, I just finished watching what may be a new favorite movie of mine, My Winnipeg, and it really got me thinking. The movie is this bizarre and awesome pseudo-documentary about a man, the filmmaker, trying to leave and disentangle himself from the blight that finds Winnipeg to be, but it is like a history of the city. The history, however, is strange and twisted and involve the homeless living in sky-riser top shantytowns, ancient underground rivers (and swimming pools), and horses who, while escaping a fire in the dead of winter, ran into the river only to be frozen with the expression of terror still etched on their heads protruding from the water.


At one point the filmmaker mentioned how eventually you miss the places from your past so much that in old photos you stop looking at the people and pay more attention to the backgrounds. It is a startlingly true observation. I know whenever I see pictures from my Grandma's old house in Chicago, I strain to remember the floors and shelves and knickknacks every little detail I can. My grandma sold the house to move into a high rise condo on Lake Shore Drive a few years before she died, and around the time she died we had heard word that the now sold house had been demolished. When I heard the news I spent night after night in bed in my mind slowly walking myself through the house, opening every door and exploring every room. The toughest part of the house was along the left side where there was a 3 doored storage shed and then the greenhouse.

I loved that house so much and as a kid I always wanted to live in it when I grew up. It was big and brown and had a large sweeping front yard that soared around the side of the house to the even larger backyard that bordered a wildlife preserve. There was always debate, apparently between my grandparents and the state as to how far back in the yard they could plant their flowers. But that always seemed a moot debate because deer were regularly wandering out into the yard. You would wake up in the morning and go into the sunroom, which was floor to ceiling windows, and step onto the cold tile floor and watch the deer walking around, eating the flowers and bushes.

The movie made me think of this because I know pictures of family members in that house exist, but I don't know if I actually value that stuff. When my parents die, will I really care to hang onto the photo albums my mom has been saving? What about the last 7-10 years, where there are hardly any photos, and even less that are printed anywhere. Should I really care. I don't know if I do, and I don't know if I am terrible for it. Great movie though.